A newlywed couple visiting the new Mother-in-law.

Building a Strong Relationship with your Future Mother-in-Law

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Not Just A New Spouse//

Getting married not only involves the union of two individuals but also the joining of two families. And often, a critical part of this union is the relationship between the bride or groom and their respective future in-laws. While forming a bond with your future father-in-law can seem straightforward, building a strong relationship with your future mother-in-law is sometimes a little more complex. So, let’s explore some tips to help you build a healthy and strong relationship with your future mother-in-law. 

A bride and her future mother-in-law talking and getting to know each other.
Make her feel valued by asking her questions about herself.

1. Get to know her 

The first step in building a strong relationship with your future mother-in-law is getting to know her. Ask your partner about her interests, hobbies, and favorite things. Try to find out what she likes and dislikes and take an interest in her life. When you meet her, ask her questions and listen carefully to her answers. You can even suggest doing something together, such as getting brunch, going to a concert, or taking a cooking class. 

2. Show her respect 

Respect is a crucial element of any relationship, and this is particularly true when it comes to in-laws. Show your future mother-in-law that you value and respect her by being polite, kind, and considerate. This means using language she’s comfortable with, being mindful of your body language, and avoiding any behavior that may come across as disrespectful or confrontational. Though do bear in mind that mutual respect isn’t the same as deference. 

A bride and her future mother-in-law hugging and getting to know each other.
Give joy to get joy back!

3. Be positive and optimistic 

Negativity can kill a relationship before it even has a chance to grow. Try to be positive and optimistic when you’re around your future mother-in-law. Show her that you’re happy to be a part of her family and that you’re looking forward to getting to know her better. Share your enthusiasm for your future together and show her that you’re excited about your upcoming wedding and your new life together. This optimism will help you make a great first impression! If you’re not naturally an outgoing person, don’t worry! Just be open and share your excitement in a way that’s comfortable for you.

4. Offer your help 

Offering your help is a great way to show your future mother-in-law that you care about her and her family. If she needs help with anything, such as running errands or organizing a family event, offer to lend a hand. Even offering to help clean up after family get togethers or asking what you can bring to Sunday dinner will go a long way. This will not only help her out but also show her that you’re willing to go the extra mile to help out her family. 

A daughter in law enjoying a meal that she helped her mother-in-law prepare.
Find ways to offer your help to show your appreciation for your Mother-in-Law.

5. Communicate openly and honestly 

Open and honest communication is key to any successful relationship, and this is particularly true when it comes to in-laws. Be open and honest with your future mother-in-law about your feelings and your intentions. If there’s something that’s bothering you, talk to her about it in a calm and respectful manner. Similarly, if you’re having a problem with your partner or your relationship, don’t be afraid to speak up and ask for her advice. 

6. Be patient 

Building a strong relationship with your future mother-in-law takes time and patience. Don’t expect things to happen overnight. Be patient and take things one step at a time. Don’t rush the process, and don’t be discouraged if there are bumps along the way. You have a lifetime to become close. Remember, it’s all about building a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding. 

A mother-in-law and daughter-in-law spending a fun day at a karaoke bar to get to know each other.
Just like with dating you should find ways to connect with each other and have fun!

7. Find common ground 

Finding common ground is an excellent way to build a strong relationship with your future mother-in-law. Look for shared interests or hobbies and use these as a starting point for your conversations. For example, if she’s a fan of a particular TV show or movie, watch it with her and discuss it afterwards. This will not only help you get to know her better but also create a shared experience that you can build upon in the future. 

8. Show gratitude 

Showing gratitude is a powerful way to build and maintain strong relationships. When your future mother-in-law does something nice for you, such as giving you a gift or hosting a family event, show your appreciation. A simple thank you note, or verbal expression of gratitude can go a long way. These little acts of kindness and thoughtfulness are how all long-lasting relationships thrive.

A daughter-in-law and mother-in-law taking time together to bake and talk.
Your Mother-in-law is a person in her own right, so make sure to be mindful of her boundaries.

9. Respect boundaries 

While it’s important to build a strong relationship with your future mother-in-law, it’s also important to respect boundaries. Don’t overstep your boundaries by getting too involved in her life or offering unsolicited advice. If she needs space or time to herself, respect her wishes and give her the space she needs. 

10. Don’t take things personally 

Lastly, it’s important to remember not to take things personally. Your future mother-in-law may have different opinions or ways of doing things, and this doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t like you. Try not to get defensive or take things personally if there are disagreements or misunderstandings. Instead, focus on finding common ground and building a stronger relationship over time. 

A daughter-in-law surprises her mother-in-law with a beautiful bouquet for mother's day.
One major love language is giving gifts, so don't forget about your Mother-in-Law this Mother's Day!

And since it’s almost Mother’s Day come check out our other article about the Mother’s Day Gift Ideas we recommend. What better way to kick off your new relationship than celebrating your new Mother-in-law!

Time, Patience, and Effort//

By getting to know her, showing respect, being positive and optimistic, offering your help, communicating openly and honestly, being patient, finding common ground, showing gratitude, respecting boundaries, and not taking things personally, you can build a healthy and positive relationship that will benefit both you and your future mother-in-law.

Remember, the key is to approach the relationship with an open mind and a willingness to build a relationship based on mutual respect, understanding, and love. Do these things and you’ll have a bond that will last a lifetime and enrich both your lives.

Comment down below and tell us one thing you love about your Mother-in-Law!

Or, for more ideas to make your wedding planning pain-free, come check out our other tips and tricks!

 
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